A longing for freedom + the Truth that sets free

For decades of my life, I suffered with a mind + body full of fear and condemnation, and all of the ways I tried to cope with and escape that.

I tried all sorts of strategies, from alcohol abuse to angry outbursts, to feel safe, cover up my shame, and be okay.

But these strategies brought with them serious side effects - isolation, emptiness, a growing weight of anxiety + dread.

In other words, more - indeed, even greater - suffering. Despite all appearances, even in my most put-together periods, I was not free. I was suffering greatly in a broken world, and causing even more suffering.

As my strategies failed me + my issues became severe enough, I became desperate. When we are in a good amount of suffering, and do not or cannot deny it any longer, we look for a Savior. We look for someone to set things right. For someone to show us what is true and what to do. We long and reach for freedom.

At my lowest point, that’s what I did, in the only place I knew or perhaps was willing to go at the time. I turned to therapy.

When we can’t or won’t turn to the people closest to us, or we do and they don’t know how to help, we turn to someone we believe can help. For so many, therapists are that someone. My first therapist was that someone. I hoped, by being in her (virtual) office, she might show me the way to freedom.

Many of my clients come in similarly. One of the first questions I ask once we’ve had a chance to talk about what they’re dealing with, is the same question Jesus asked his disciples when they began to follow him. “What do you want?” (John 1:32) In other words, “what are you looking for?” Without fail, my clients express more or less the same thing each time: they want to be free.

Jesus tells us where freedom is found, and how to find it.

To those who believed him, he said “if you continue in My word, you are truly My disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31-32)

Very simply, the truth, as we continue in it, sets us free.

Jesus - his divine person, his perspective, his promises, his power, his life, his death, and his resurrection - is the Truth.

When clients say they want to be free, what they really want is the Truth. What they really want is the living Word of God. Whether they know it or not, what they really want - who they really want - is Jesus.

And the good news is…He really wants them too.

Even when we are unwilling to come to Him, in His mercy, He often comes to us. Subtly, strategically, by His Spirit, sowing or watering seeds of truth in the soil of our souls. My first therapist was warm, patient, and unwaveringly gentle. She maintained at least the appearance of unconditional positive regard towards me, even as I showed up with my many sins and self-protections. All of this communicated a very simple, foundational truth to me: that I mattered.

I have value.

What does the incarnate God, who gave His own life on the cross for us, who conquered death to bring us to life, convey if not that we matter and have unspeakable value?

Jesus was present, even before I knew, trusted or believed in him.

So, what about the clients who come to me, deeply sensing that they are not free and longing for it?

It’s a blessed paradox that my position as a clinical counselor nearly always prohibits me from pointing clients to Jesus outright. Many of them don’t know Jesus, and most urgently need me to be like Him rather than tell them about Him.

I ask the Holy Spirit to guide me in my work with them, specifically asking Him what truth(s) he wants to communicate to a client through me. They are often very simple and entirely biblical: You matter. You are made in God’s image. You are not alone. All fall short. Sin brings forth death.

What He wants to say to a client never contradicts His written word. By this, we can ‘test the spirits’ when we receive guidance. Lies, even lies that feel good or superficially comforting - There’s nothing wrong with you! - are not from him.

The truth alone sets us free - and every truth, no matter how simple or seemingly small, finds its beginning and end in Jesus.

Communicated through our presence, words, and actions in an ordinary therapy office, God calls to our clients, desiring to draw them to Himself.

As we continue in his word (John 8:31), seeking His will, the Holy Spirit of truth works through us, His ransomed, to set the captives free.

The freedom they long for, that all long for, that is available to all, is found in and through Jesus.